Tampons
by dani's random fox
Summary: Of all the people to see her shopping for tampons, she never wanted it to be Naruto-kun or his scary friend, Sabaku-san. PARODY AU, hints of Hinata/Naruto and Hinata/Gaara. OOC . You have been warned.


Please keep in mind that this is a parody. People are OOC. I'm warning you now, so don't tell me in a review because I know. I also know the ending sucks. This was a random ficlit that I wrote about a year ago. It fails as a chaptered story, so it's a parody AU one-shot that doesn't really make sense.

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Hinata Hyuuga browsed the aisle, looking for the tampons she normally bought. The QuikShop was going under some new renovations and related products were placed together, as half the store had a plaster wall to accommodate the construction. The tampons and pads had been moved temporarily to the toilet paper, Kleenex, and paper towel aisle.

She finally found it, at the very top of the shelf, near the back of the aisle. She reached up to the very tips of her toes and her fingers brushed the box, pushing it further.

"Hinata-chan?"

She lost her balance and accidentally knocked over boxes of generic tampons. She managed to catch one before turning around quickly and hiding the box behind her back.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Her precious Naruto-kun. He was here. If she had known he was going to be here, she would have dressed in something cuter than her baggy pants and cousin's shirt. Damn it.

"Hey Hinata-chan! What're you doing here?" Of course, he looked cute as always with his spiky blond hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He was wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt that sort of hugged his figure. She could see the outline of muscles on his stomach…

"Oh, um," she blushed. "Ah, shopping."

"Cool! We're shopping too," Naruto Uzumaki grinned and shrugged his shoulder over at his companion, Gaara Sabaku.

Hinata wanted to disappear. Not only was her crush here, but he brought his intimidating friend as well. Gaara was well-known for his stoic, quiet, and often cold personality. Quite the opposite of Naruto-kun.

"H-hello, Sabaku-san."

Gaara was known for his rugged handsome features as well. He had dark red hair, the locks slightly curly at the end. His eyes were a dull teal, again opposite of Naruto's bright blue. He had a narrow chin and plump cheeks, but what really attracted him to girls were his lips. He had full, soft lips that one couldn't help but watch as he talked in his monotone voice.

"Hn." he replied, shifting his stance slightly.

There was an awkward pause.

"So…um, what did you come here for Naruto-kun?"

Naruto made a face, "Iruka-sensei sent me to buy toilet paper. Says it's my fault that we run out every three days. Gotta get some ramen, too."

"O-oh."

"What did you come here for?" he asked.

Hinata blushed dark red, "Oh, uh…um…"

She fidgeted, and found the toilet paper to her right _very_ interesting.

"Eh? Don't you know?"

Hinata couldn't look at him, and she couldn't answer.

"She's here for tampons." Gaara muttered.

Hinata flinched at the word, it sounded strange coming from Gaara Sabaku's mouth.

"T-tampons?!"

Hinata flinched again, it sounded worse coming from her long time crush.

"_You_ use tampons, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata nearly fainted. Was it that unbelievable? Pads were just so…_gross_.

"Oh--! Uh," he said quickly, raising his hands, "I didn't mean it like that! I just thought, you know, I mean…I didn't think you uh, started puberty yet."

That was worse.

"I mean--! I mean, I can't really…I just couldn't imagine you being so feminine, that's all!"

He finally seemed satisfied with this answer and looked at Hinata expectantly.

Hinata frowned a little, was it so hard to believe that she was indeed, a girl? Did he see her more as a boy then a girl? Another one of the guys instead of a potential lover?

"Oh my…" A clerk walked up to the mess of tampons on the floor. "Excuse me miss," she said in a lazy voice. "but would you mind cleaning up your mess?"

Hinata blushed, embarrassed once again. She started to bend over, but a pale arm shot out and held her back.

"How do you know this isn't my mess?" Gaara's low voice asked emotionlessly.

The clerk eyed him skeptically.

"Perhaps I was buying tampons for my sister?" Gaara suggested. "Or maybe I am a transvestite?"

The clerk made a chocking sound, as if she was trying hard not to laugh, and quickly turned on her heel, "Just…just make sure this gets cleaned up."

Gaara's arm fell and Naruto burst into laughter, "Yeah right, Gaara! As if you're a transvestite! Whatever!

Hinata let out a nervous giggle, which ended up sounding like a croak.

"Oh hey, are you okay, Hinata-chan? Are you sick?" Naruto asked.

"Ah, no…I, um, uh…"

There was another awkward pause. Naruto stared at her like she was a disease. Gaara stood by nonchalantly, occasionally glancing at her with scrutiny.

"Don't you have something to get, Naruto?" Gaara said finally.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto's eyes lit up. "Yeah! Okay, I'm gonna go get the ramen!"

And he left. Hinata watched his butt as he went around the corner.

Gaara sighed and bent down to pick up the boxes.

"Oh! Sabaku-san, I'm so sorry! Please, um, you don't have to," she said as she quickly picked some boxes up and set them on the shelf.

Gaara brushed her words aside and continued to put boxes away.

"Um, thank you very much, Sabaku-san." Hinata said quietly.

"Gaara. Call me Gaara," he said as he approached her slowly.

"Thank you, Gaara-san." She corrected.

"You're welcome, Hinata-chan." He replied huskily, sending shivers down her spine. His fingers traced over her stomach gently, inching up to her breasts--

"Oh!" Hinata woke up, just before her alarm went off. She was covered in sweat and felt sticky. She walked quickly to her bathroom and rinsed her face. "Oh my god, what a strange dream!" she said, looking in the sink.

"It wasn't a dream, Hinata-chan," a husky voice whispered in her ear.

Hinata paled and turned around, ready to confront her intruder. But no one was there.

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I told you the ending sucked. Review anyway, won't you please?


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